Latest inspiration
๐๐ง ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ก๐๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐๐
This is perhaps an unpopular opinion as it is counter-cultural, yet it has been on my heart for some time to share with you all. I rumbled with sharing it in โ๐๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก ๐๐จ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐โ and in the eleventh hour decided too โ it was hands down one of the most difficult parts of the book to write.
So, with a deep breath, letโs rumble with it in my blog (link in story/bio).
Here is the intro...
Yesterday I read a headline announcing Chrissy Teigenโs pregnancy two years after losing their precious baby boy Jack in utero. I felt incredibly heartened as I clicked into the link with the thought of sharing the article with you allโฆthen I read the journalistโs first sentence.
โ๐๐ฐ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฃ๐บ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐จ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐บ ๐ข๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐บ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐บ ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฃ๐บ ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐บ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ท๐ข๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ.โ
Shaking my head, I continue to read the article, and although the rest of it was hopeful, helpful, and heartening, not to mention a great way to continue conversations surrounding baby loss, I could not share it.
This first sentence represents a cultural narrative surrounding loss that I do not wish to have a part in perpetuating.
Since my experiences with baby loss, I have been privy to numerous conversations where it has been said, either implicitly or explicitly, that the further through your pregnancy is, the tougher your loss must be.
In many respects it seems ridiculous that we even feel the need to run these kinds of comparisons, and perhaps this ๐๐จ the essence of the issue.
Read more at๐๐ผ https://www.annieanderson.co.nz/blog/nobody-wins/
๐๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฒ ๐
I don't think either of us knew what we might be in for when we met on a dance floor 18 years ago. Something we did know soon after meeting though, was that whatever it was, we wanted to face and share in it together.
And we have.
Yet it hasn't all been belly laughs (often at my expense๐), or casual Sunday strolls.
Doing life together means we have shared in the incredible, the devastating, and ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ in between.
And, there was a moment in time when it felt as if we had ceased to share in it.
After suffering the loss of two babies in utero, we grieved... differently.
Initially, in the rawest moments of our grief we were incredibly close.
Yet, as the days turned into weeks, I watched as he 'appeared' to carry on as if nothing had changed, and he watched as I cried myself to sleep every night as if everything had changed.
I willed his eyes to leak like mine, and I have no doubt he wished mine would dry.
One night, as I was crying, he turned over and asked me how long I was going to do this for.
Hurt, I asked him when he would start, questioning if he even thought about our little girl anymore.
He softened. '๐'๐ฎ ๐จ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ ๐๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฆ. ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ช๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐บ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ฐ, ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ญ๐ญ ๐ง๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ญ ๐ด๐ข๐ฅ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ฃ๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ฐ.'
There it was.
Unknowingly I had ๐ข๐ด๐ด๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฅ that because he wasn't appearing outwardly impacted in the ๐ด๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ way I was, he wasn't grieving. I somehow believed that if we were to share our grief, it needed to look the same.
๐๐ต ๐ฅ๐ช๐ฅ๐ฏ'๐ต.
And more than this, we learnt it didn't have to, to be shared.
We could still share in our grief, even though we each had our own unique ways of expressing and walking with it.
We will ๐๐ก๐ก grieve differently, and our partners are no exception ๐
In '๐๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐๐ค๐ช๐ก ๐๐จ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐' I write,
'๐๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ข๐บ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฏ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ซ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ต๐ด, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ข๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ๐ข.' โ๏ธ
๐ท Sharon Thompson
๐๐จ๐ฐ!
Each time we visit the Airforce Museum of NZ we all experience moments of awe.
'Wow' the children say as they gaze wide eyed at the size and details of the many different aircraft on display.
Awe. It ๐ช๐ด powerful, reminding us that we are a small part of something much larger. This often invokes a sense of belonging, while providing an invitation to step outside of ourselves.
There is much research that supports the beneficial nature of experiencing awe with many psychologists noting it's ability to enhance wellbeing.
When is the last time you experienced awe?โจ๏ธ
I experience it mostly in nature - staring out at the vast horizon over the ocean, the view from a high hill or mountaintop, gazing at the stars on a clear night, an incredible cloud formation...
Where do you tend to find it?๐๐ผโจ๏ธ
.
.
.
.
.
#awe #inspired #belonging #powerofawe #wellbeingnz #inspiration #partofsomethingbigger
๐๐๐ฆ๐จ'๐ฌ
Creativity doesn't work on a schedule - at least not for me!
Do ideas wake you in the night? Or appear just after you have shutdown your laptop? While showering or out for a walk? Just me?
When writing '๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ ๐ช๐ด ๐๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ' I had to use the small windows of time well. What I found is after a writing session, I would often get into the car and barely have driven a block before I thought of just the word, or example, or theme that I was searching for.
Cue the voice recorder on my phone!
This alongside my notes, was such an asset for these moments. I would pull over, spill the thoughts and insights onto my phone, and then continue on my way.
The only downside (other than listening to the sound of your own voice ๐) is I didn't have an efficient system for revisiting them so by the end of the second draft there were 56 voice messages to double check!
How great can tech be?!
This is my 'go to' if it is difficult to write myself a note.
Do you have some 'hacks' for capturing your ideas or thoughts that pop up at inconvenient moments? ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ
I would love to hear them!โจ
๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐
Our lives are experienced in moments.
I donโt believe it is the days or hours that we remember, but the moments that forge our most intense and lasting memories. Each moment like a thread woven into another, together forming the unique tapestry of our life story.
Moments are powerful and the events within them carry the ability to change the course of our lives forever.
Some are incredible, awe inspiring, exciting, and beautiful. Others can be devastating, challenging, heart breaking, and sorrowful.
And there are those woven in between โ the mundane, obscure, commonplace, tedious, the uneventful.
Savour the incredible, embrace the mundane, and hold on through the devastating.
This is ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ one precious, messy, and crazy life - and it's a beautiful tapestry.
It is ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง๐จ โจ
.
.
.
.
#lifequotes #passingoftime #lifesmoments #inspirationalquotes #wordstoliveby #moments #nzwriter #writersofinstagram
๐๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ง
'Let's get a quick photo of the bump before we leave,' he suggests, a deep sadness evident in his voice. This is something we have done with each of our babies before leaving to the hospital.
But this ๐ช๐ด different.
Unsure of whether I want this or not, I hesitate. My hospital bag sits packed on the bed and it is almost time to leave. I am caught between the desperate desire to hold onto this moment ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ to run far from it.
I do not want to take this picture. It is too soon.
Yet, we will not get another opportunity.
Too tired and overwhelmed at what we have in front of us today, I comply.
My face contorts as tears begin to stream down my cheeks.
Lasts.
Standing there, I begin to rub my tummy.
These are the final hours of cradling her precious body within my own. Every inch of me knows that when I return to this room she would no longer be with us in the way we had hoped, that soon we will be physically parted.
Lasts.
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ... did not know how she was going to make it through the induction.
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ... was afraid of what this day held, and overwhelmed by the prospect of the days, weeks, and months that would follow.
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ... was terrified by what else could go wrong, by who else she might lose.
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ... wondered how she was going to find the strength to endure an induced labour all the while knowing the life she was working so hard to bring into this world had already left.
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ... was heartbroken, devastated, adrift in grief's stormy waters, fighting to the surface for air.
๐๐๐ฉ,
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ค๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ... the courage and strength to endure the immense pain of an induced 10hr labour.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ค๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ... she was so much stronger than she knew.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ค๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ... she could hold her baby girl and feel both the pain ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ the beauty in these moments.
๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ค๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ... the strength to say goodbye, in the faith she knew where her baby girl was.
Continued in comments๐๐ผ
๐๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐๐ข๐ง๐ ...
It is possibly high time the fluffy paws I now follow through the forest was formally introduced to you all...
Meet ๐๐ผ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐ถ
Our four-legged, fur shedding people lover, mischief maker, cushion destroyer, hole digger who loves nothing more than being close to us (although running through the forest, swimming at the beach, 'zoomies' round the house, and a soft serve ice cream come a close second)!
His gentle and fun-loving nature make him the furry best friend to each of our children and Rob and I have quite the soft spot for him too.
This is Kobe - our resident fur baby ๐พ
๐ท 'Adult' Kobe photos captured by Sharon Thompson